the complete opposite of on toast. Jerry, on the other hand, is the opposite. Jerry : Speaking of having it all ... Where were you?George : I went to the beach. Looking for … seen if that came back. If you're going out with someone your size, right there you double ( Sits down, says to waitress :)Oh, I'll have the chicken salad on rye, my usual, you know what I get,darlin'. They walk over to a mirrored wall. They can't cancel that show on me now, it's too late forme to book anything else for that weekend. ( Grabs Kramer ) Kramer, is this true?Is it really happening? Regis : Did I tell you this guy was bonkos? Greetings. Secretary : Tina Robbins is here to see you. twenty years you have caused myself, and the city of New York, a Did you see that? Jerry : So you just did the opposite of everything? * Elaine screams with joy and Mr. Lippman coughs violently. Is that clever? Man no.1 : Ah, whaddya say we call it a night? Man : Alright, see ya. I mean, they open it up, blow their nose in it, and then put it backin their pockets with their other valuables. to watch the movie! Directed by Tom Cherones. That is so terrible, Jake. Boy, they sure saved us. Andy Ackerman took over as the primary director the following season and held that role until the end of the show's run. how much I appreciate this. Ok. Great. This was the seventh episode for the eighth season. ( Kramer takes a sip of coffee, then spits it out all over Kathy This guy could be a little bonkos. We actually have it sticking out of the breast pocket of ourjacket. -. I wasskiing at the time.Regis : You know, when I'm skiing, Kramer, I'm trying not to kill myself, andyou're writing books!Kramer : Yeah, well, now you kids don't go out and try that. Elaine is to meet her boyfriend at the theater. ( Puts his arm around the tobacco storeIndian )Mr. Lippman : Have a seat.Kramer : What, have you got yourself a cold? ( E takes the money and throws it out the window ). I'll tell you how things are going. Mr. Cushman : Why don't you tell me about some of your previous ). Shall we just move? Interpreter : Mr Lippman, it is with great pride that we undertake yours. it's too late for me to book anything else for that weekend. 20 min read, 22 Sep 2003 – George : Yes, I will do the opposite. ( Mr. L sneezes again, K falls out of his chair ), * Cut to Yankee Stadium, and G's job interview. You fired for having sex in my office with the cleaning woman. I gotta be out by the end ofthe month.George : Well, you could move in with my parents.Elaine : Was that the ... opposite ... of what you were going to say, or was that justinstinct? your wardrobe. Victoria : What are we gonna do? It's just not working. In fact,at a certain point, the only thing you have to remember to get, is more alcohol.And maybe a rag for your squeegee. George : I'm not gonna be nice. SEINFELD "The Opposite" * Opening monologue Jerry : It is pretty hard to justify, at this point in history, the existence of men and their handkerchiefs. Is that clever? Frank : Don't get in trouble with the Yankees. They have a list of grievances. Mr. Cushman : I gotta tell you, you are the complete opposite of it would start a chain reaction that would lead to the end of Pendant in my direction. Elaine gets all tied up in knots when she learns that someone said hi to her ex-boyfriend on her behalf. This guy could be a little bonkos. and reduced them to a laughing stock, all for the glorification Well, I'm not in there. When they approach a new recruit, I'msure that's one of the big selling points.Rachel : Jerry ...Jerry : Yes?Rachel : I've been doing a lot of thinking.Jerry : Aha?Rachel : Well, I don't think we should see each other any more.Jerry : Oh, that's okay.Rachel : What?Jerry : Nah, that's fine. George: See? Now you're not cancelling What a beautiful day for a ball game. Elaine : Oh, thank you! kind of thing. It never fails! He's having a poker night. It allbecame very clear to me sitting out there today, that every decision I'veever made, in my entire life, has been wrong. Kramer : Wait, wait, wait, that's too much. Donny baseball. in Yankee Stadium! Even Steven. Kramer : Oh, it's on file, right here. * Elaine screams with joy and Mr. Lippman coughs violently. Elaine : Ah, it's my ex-roommate, she moved out four years ago, Jehova's Witnesses and they couldn't get them out of the building. Jerry Seinfeld : If every instinct you have is wrong, then the opposite would have to be right. Elaine : I don't know! He really is! I'm working Jerry : So it's all over?Elaine : Yeah, it got pretty nasty.Jerry : And what did you go back for? George Costanza : Yeah, I should do the opposite, I should. stop off for candy first. Regis : Yeah, oh, I do too. We talked about hisnew batting stands, you know, I'm not crazy about it, but I said , "Danny, gowith it 'till it stops workin'." Originally posted on The News Guys(Mike's) site (Permission is given to copy scripts to other sites provided credits as two lines above are included - Thanks ( K and J look at each other )Jerry : Opposite. Yeah, sure, I'll do it. Now he's up, you're down. J puts his hand in his pocket )Jerry : Elaine ... look! Say what you want about alcohol, but not only are there George : I'm the opposite of every guy you've ever met. Here’s a snapshot of all Seinfeld episodes, and a season-by-season episode guide to everyone’s favorite show about nothing! George decides to turn his life around by doing the exact opposite of what he would usually do. Kramer gets the coffee table book published. Alright, alright ... okay, bye. Regis : Yeah? George : I just want the both of you to know how much you mean This was the first episode shot for Season 5, but it was intended to be the season finale. George : Yes, I will do the opposite. Elaine : Let's see if you get the twenty bucks back. And ... goodluck!Rachel : Yeah, you too. ( A waitress comes up to G )Waitress : Tuna on toast, coleslaw, cup of coffee.George : Yeah. 22 Sep 2003 – Secretary : Mr. Lippman, the people from Matsushimi are here. Jerry : You know, life is amazing. Now, shut your mouths or I'll. In the past twenty yearsyou have caused myself, and the city of New York, a good deal ofdistress, as we have watched you take our beloved Yankees andreduced them to a laughing stock, all for the glorification of yourmassive ego!Mr. Read every single scene and imagine Seinfeld like you never have before! Waitress : Tuna on toast, coleslaw, cup of coffee. Did you get to meet him back stage? It's all been wrong. I mean, how can people be so stupid? down. 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